i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
