My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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