wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
