Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
