is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
