why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
