you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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