we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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