Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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