yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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