oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
