I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
