Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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