one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize