You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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