You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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