and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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