Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
