she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
