just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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