Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
