Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize