I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I will die if light touches me.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
