my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
