Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
