oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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