What did we do last night that was yellow?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
