'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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