dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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