I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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