just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
