imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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