i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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