Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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