Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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