dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
