Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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