Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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