she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This baby is an asshole
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
