just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
