i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
