I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
