my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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