a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
