It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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