So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
