My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
