Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
