How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize