walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
