Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
