Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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