Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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