Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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