so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
