yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
