he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
