I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
