what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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